Leadership wasn't part of the original plan—but sometimes the roles that shape us most are the ones we never saw coming.

Whether you have a leadership title or you're simply influencing the people around you, this conversation is full of practical wisdom and encouragement for anyone trying to lead well without losing themselves in the process.

Just be cause we feel like we know someone, doesn't mean they feel like we do. How do we get the context out of our heads and into the conversation?

Today I'm unpacking various things that impact our interpretation of what it means to know someone, including generation gaps as explained by Daniel Moral on Silicon Canals.

One of my best friends, Cody Beck, joins me this week for a follow-up discussion on indifference. Is it good? Is it bad? Do we even know what it means?!

We also cover excerpts from the first chapter of How to Know a Person by David Brooks, which is a fascinating read that I highly recommend!

I used to think indifference was a bad thing, but I’m starting to feel like it’s good, maybe even necessary, because it allows space for us to evaluate things, look at the big picture, see clearly, and decide what action to take to create meaningful change.

When we speak, we are afraid our words will not be heard or welcomed. But when we are silent, we are still afraid. So it is better to speak. - Audre Lorde

I love my friends so much and want them to know that and want to be able to communicate it in ways that make them feel loved, and I also want that from them, but sometimes it’s so hard that it doesn’t feel worth the time or energy. 

I’ve found that focusing on my own calling, and not anyone else’s, has given me so much peace. This week, I’m reflecting on how to do that.

Reflecting on why the older generations seem so resistant to pain, and how I’ve found that embracing it as part of life and growing through what you go through is healing.

Reflecting on the need to slow down and rest, and how sometimes getting sick is our body (and God’s) way of forcing us to do that.

Are you too much, or are the people who think so just not your people?

Let this be your sign to book the solo trip. Stop waiting on others. Do it for you.

Truth without kindness is brutality, and kindness without truth is manipulation. How cognizant are you of displaying one or both of these in your conversations?

Why can’t we all just mind our own damn business? Too many people are out here screaming into the void trying to change the minds and actions of people they don’t know and will never meet. We’ve been placed in certain people’s lives, and vice versa — let’s focus on the people we do know.

Last week, we discussed what it means to treat your energy like it's expensive. But are we closing ourselves off to true connection when deciding who can afford it? This week, we're diving a little deeper into questions like "What if we're never on the same page?" and "What if the person I choose to give my energy to doesn't choose me back?"

As Taylor said on New Heights, you should treat your energy like it's expensive, and not everyone can afford it. Let's talk about how we can do this, and also what other costs are involved besides energy.

Is it better to have loved and lost, or to have never loved at all?

Let's explore the subtle ways our lives are shaped without us even realizing it. Inspired by John Mark Comer’s Practicing the Way, I examine the unconscious spiritual, personal, and psychological formation happening through our habits, relationships, and life stories.

Inspired by a lyric from Taylor Swift’s Stay Stay Stay, let's explore what it takes for someone to really “memorize” you. The small, consistent acts that make someone feel seen, understood, and loved. Whether in relationships or faith, learning to notice, remember, and cherish the details can transform how we connect with others.

Have you ever felt like there’s something you were meant to do? A purpose, a calling, a mission—something impossible but deeply meaningful that you’re striving for? What if the impossibility is the point? What if we’re meant to need something bigger than ourselves—to dream the impossible, to need God, and to keep becoming even when we don't arrive?

Healing sounds good. Positive. Rewarding. Exciting, even…until it costs you your comfort. This week on Real Honest, I’m wrestling with a question Lisa Harper recently asked: Do you want to be healed or do you want to be comfortable? Let’s talk about why we resist healing, how comfort keeps us stuck, and what it really takes to do the deep work.